Finding Perspective

Each and every day I am reminded in all kinds of ways to be thankful for the man I married a little over three years ago. 

I am often thankful for the seemingly simple things: he loads the dishwasher. He mows the grass. He often lets me complain just for the sake of complaining. 

But today, I was reminded of all the ways God made this man just for me. 

The truth is, I have been struggling with finding the right perspective lately. Seeing joy in the small things, in the sleepless nights and the poopy diapers. I have been finding myself too focused on the future, and all of its uncertainty, to be able to truly stop and thank God for the blessings He has already provided. 

And sweet husband called me out on it. 

After giving me a big hug, leaving love notes around the house, and telling me to go on to bed - at 9 pm- he asked me one question: 

Is there ever going to be a time where you are just thankful for him?

I was left speechless, and winded, almost as if he had hit me with a ton of bricks. 

Initially I was angry at him for questioning the overwheing love I have for my sweet Elam. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized his question wasn't completely unfounded. 

I can write flowery words on a page and I can tell anyone who asks how blessed we are to have him, and I truly feel that way, but within the walls our home and my heart, my selfish soul gets worried. 

Worried about his mental state. Worried about who he is going to be. Worried if he'll be happy. And worried if we will be happy. 

And the answer is:

Elam is going to be exactly who he is going to be. He will develop in his own way. He will do his own things. But he will only be happy, if we are happy. 

"Before I formed you in your mother's womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I chose you." Jeremiah 1:5

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord." Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan for us, for Elam. He always has, and it is in all things we are to give thanks. As we choose not to forget all of the times we have seen His face ever so clearly and felt his arms wrap us in strength, let us be thankful. Thankful for this precious gift of life. For the sleepless nights and the poopy diapers. For these are signs of answered prayers. 

And it was Justin who helped me remember. 

So, here's to the man who takes crying babies from this frustrated momma. To a man who washes cloth diapers and remembers to hang dry the covers. He does Ellery's bedtime every. single. night.  and has never once complained about it. 

But more importantly, here's to a husband who isn't afraid to punch me in the gut (figuratively, of course) from time to time for the benefit of our family and our relationship with Christ.