Grace and second chances.

Last night, as I reached for the light switch to end the day, the anxious calling of Elam's wakefulness paused my intentions and guided me to his room.

As I stood over him, pondering the best course of action to help ease him back into sleep, a sense came over me urging me to cherish it - cherishing his need for me. 

So, in the soft glow of the nursery night light, my feet shuffled to keep rhythm with the sound machine and I let myself cherish our dance. The dance, as mothers, we are only given for a moment in time. 

As we swayed in the peacefulness, I was suddenly thankful for sleepless nights. Thankful for baby cries and their need for their mothers. 

My role as a mom is one I could never fully understand until I became one. The love and exhaustion that radiates from your every being is powerful. 

Powerful - and terrifying. Terrifying in a sense that this job of mothering is all about example. 

It is easy when toddlers are being angelic and infants are smiling - but when patience is all used up and grace ran out thirty minutes ago, my role becomes vital as little eyes are watching and copying every move. 

As time slips by, I am slowly learning to catch each moment that I can and enjoy the neediness. For in their need lies the opportunity to teach and to lead by example. 

As I teach Life to these sweet children, and strive to give grace and forgiveness, I am humbled by the example our Father set before us. Grace sufficient has been given to me, although I am far undeserving. Knowing that, shouldn't  I be able to see my own children's need for free and unmerited favor and fulfill it with patience and second chances?

It isn't always easy, but I believe it is something that is more important than my human brain can fully comprehend. Being able to lead my children with the example of gentleness and patience, giving them grace when there seems to be none left, is my prayer and the aching of my heart.