Ellery says.

As Ellery and I were in the kitchen eating lunch today, Elam started to wake up from his nap (on the floor in the living room.)

Ellery, being the problem solver that she is, hurriedly got down from her chair, ran in and squated down beside him, "Feed Eyum!" she said, as she tried her best to pick him up.

I asked her, "You want me to feed Elam?" 

She responded:

"No! E-ry feed him!" And starts lifting up her shirt to point to her belly button. 

Oh, toddlers. 

Focus

"In the midst of all the noise and chaos in our lives, we need to take the time to listen to the music. Sometimes we lose focus of what's important because we focus only on our problems." 

Today we chose to focus on baby smiles and eye contact.

Free legs and chubby feet. 

Cooing and laughing.

And lots of loving. 

And it's been perfect. 

 

Finding Perspective

Each and every day I am reminded in all kinds of ways to be thankful for the man I married a little over three years ago. 

I am often thankful for the seemingly simple things: he loads the dishwasher. He mows the grass. He often lets me complain just for the sake of complaining. 

But today, I was reminded of all the ways God made this man just for me. 

The truth is, I have been struggling with finding the right perspective lately. Seeing joy in the small things, in the sleepless nights and the poopy diapers. I have been finding myself too focused on the future, and all of its uncertainty, to be able to truly stop and thank God for the blessings He has already provided. 

And sweet husband called me out on it. 

After giving me a big hug, leaving love notes around the house, and telling me to go on to bed - at 9 pm- he asked me one question: 

Is there ever going to be a time where you are just thankful for him?

I was left speechless, and winded, almost as if he had hit me with a ton of bricks. 

Initially I was angry at him for questioning the overwheing love I have for my sweet Elam. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized his question wasn't completely unfounded. 

I can write flowery words on a page and I can tell anyone who asks how blessed we are to have him, and I truly feel that way, but within the walls our home and my heart, my selfish soul gets worried. 

Worried about his mental state. Worried about who he is going to be. Worried if he'll be happy. And worried if we will be happy. 

And the answer is:

Elam is going to be exactly who he is going to be. He will develop in his own way. He will do his own things. But he will only be happy, if we are happy. 

"Before I formed you in your mother's womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I chose you." Jeremiah 1:5

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord." Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan for us, for Elam. He always has, and it is in all things we are to give thanks. As we choose not to forget all of the times we have seen His face ever so clearly and felt his arms wrap us in strength, let us be thankful. Thankful for this precious gift of life. For the sleepless nights and the poopy diapers. For these are signs of answered prayers. 

And it was Justin who helped me remember. 

So, here's to the man who takes crying babies from this frustrated momma. To a man who washes cloth diapers and remembers to hang dry the covers. He does Ellery's bedtime every. single. night.  and has never once complained about it. 

But more importantly, here's to a husband who isn't afraid to punch me in the gut (figuratively, of course) from time to time for the benefit of our family and our relationship with Christ. 

New Orleans and Us.

As we settle back into our routine, this week has been a whirlwind. I have been meaning to update the blog, but it has been one thing after another, making it hard to know where to start.

Sunday our family of four made our way to New Orleans. We went to church early and then took a couple hours to nap before taking our sweet Ellery to experience the aquarium for the first time. 

She called everything a goldfish and wanted to go "schwimmminnn" in every fish tank, so overall, I think she had a blast!

We spent the night at the Mizell's, the same precious place we stayed while we were waiting to bring our special little boy home from the hospital. 

Staying there brought back so many strong memories, as I took a few moments and relived some of the emotions I experienced in the early days. I became even more thankful for the time I have now with our Elam. Time to kiss him, and hold him as long as I like the night before surgery. 

We woke up at 5 AM to get ready to take our sweet boy for his third surgery. We applied lidocaine to his heels and ankles around 5:30 so the area would be numb before his tendon release procedure. 

The nurse came and took him from us right at 7 AM. They gave Ellery a paper castle and some stickers to decorate it with while we waited. Ellery entertained herself while watching Mickey Mouse, while I paced around the waiting area. 

Elam was only given local anesthesia, which was the lidocaine that we applied ourselves, for this I was thankful, but I also worried about him getting hungry, or crying his hysterical cry, the one where he forgets to breathe, on the operating table, and me not being there to comfort him. 

The nurse came out at 8, smiling and telling me he was in recovery and I could now go back to see him. 

His casts were red (to match his hair) and he was asleep. They said he did perfect through the surgery, and I kissed him as in quickly picked him up to hold him. We had to stay 30 minutes in recovery before we were allowed to leave. 

We spent the rest of the morning looking for bikes around New Orleans on Craigslist and taking Ellery to play at City Park. 

We made it home around 3 PM thankful that our next orthopedics appointment was scheduled for three weeks from now. 

Unfortunately, Wednesday morning I noticed Elam's little cast had started to slip already. The doctor had informed us that if it started to slip, even in the smallest amount, he needed to redo them, because the tendon would heal incorrectly.

So off to New Orleans I went for the second time in three days, to see doctors who know us well enough to be able schedule appointments around Elam's feeding schedule, while taking into account our 2 hour drive. This is awesome and unfortunate at the same time. It means we have been to see them far to many times in the past two months. 

Alas, we are back and praying his casts stay on for another 2 and a half weeks!

The Heart of Life is Good.

  As we journey through this life we are learning how little stuff actually matters and how much love does. Mothers, fathers, babies, sisters, brothers - and the love shared between - is what keeps us going, striving, and dwelling on the joy of life.

 As we love on our sweet babies today, we are remembering that the heart of life is good. 

  

Clubbed Feet.

(Progress after just two weeks of casts.)

I realized yesterday, as we were headed home from our 3rd visit with Ochsner's pediatric orthopedic department, that I haven't talked much about Elam's clubbed feet and the process it is going to take to correct them. 

Elam's little legs have been in the smallest of casts for the last two weeks, and had his third pair put on yesterday. They really don't seem to bother him, but it sure does make him appreciate the couple minutes he gets each week when the doctors take them off. 

The cutest movement you have ever seen comes from Elam's left leg as he wiggles it with pure excitement when it is freed from his cast. This makes my heart happy. 

The doctors have estimated around 6-8 weekly cast changes will be needed, as with each casts they are able to straighten the foot out a little more.

 After the weekly round of casts get the feet straight and flexible enough for the doctor's liking, Elam will undergo a small surgery to further loosen the tendons in the back of his feet. He will then be put back in casts for a month. 

After the month of casts, at this point I am not sure if there will then be more casting, or if then he will go straight to braces (that he will wear 24/7 for three or so months, and then at night for 4-5 years).  

It is really amazing to us to be able to see such improvement in just two weeks!

Getting out.

Sometimes you just need to be outdoors.

With a cranky toddler and a momma who is going a bit stir crazy, we figured heading down to the creek to get some riverbank sand between our toes is just what we needed to soothe our souls.

We celebrated Elam's one month birthday this way.

 

5 months ago.

There have been several days in the last year that have completely rocked our world, leaving us with a perspective that is far different than one we had ever dreamed of having. 

January 25 started it all. A day that broke our hearts beyond our ability to descibe. A day that changed the way I would look at pregnancy and the uncertainty of it, forever.

January 28 brought us back into the light, as we learned more of our son's condition and more on the power of prayer. We felt God's strength wrap around us, and as our hearts were lifted, we walked out of our exam room knowing our future was full of uncertainty, but that uncertainty would be accompanied by a lot of joy, too! 

These two very memorable days will always hold a special place in our hearts, for they started something uniquely special, a journey we would not have chosen on our own, but one we are so grateful to be a part of. 

Between those days and now, we have had quite a few that left us feeling pretty low, but through it all, we were graced with hope and strength. 

Our journey through Little Brother's pregnancy wasn't exactly easy, but all of the heartache we experienced just made God's purpose and love all the more clear - because at 5:49pm on June 20th, a set of perfect little lungs filled air, and we heard our brand new baby boy for the very first time. In that moment, we knew what pure love, peace, and utmost joy felt like. 

We endured five months of an emotional rollercoaster. Five months of waiting and praying and wanting so desperately just to know more than an ultrasound, blood work, or doctor could ever tell us. We just wanted our son. And now, as I watch him sleep on the bed right next to me, I have exactly what I had been longing for. 

I have a son - and he is perfect. 

I look at Elam and I am overcome with so many emotions. I see him as the little boy on the ultrasound screen at 17 1/2 weeks who we thought wouldn't survive. I see him as the little boy we were told we could abort at 18 weeks. 

But more than any of these, I see him as the perfectly created little boy that God has beautifully chosen to bless our family.  And with that, I smile, and thank our Lord for the gifts we are so undeservingly given. 

On Day 9.

We are so in love. And still so in awe of all of the blessings that continuously unfold before us. 

We are 9 days in to the otherside of our little boy's journey, and we can't begin to describe all the times we have been able to see the almighty strength of our God show up just when we needed Him. 

Can you believe it has already been 9 days? 

Little Elam was born Thursday, June 20, and has had quite the adventure ever since. He had his back closure surgery on Friday, where he had to be intubated and put on a feeding tube. They kept those in until his shunt placement on Monday.

Since he came through both surgeries with ease, the sweet NICU nurses were able to surprise us on Tuesday and gave us the permission to hold him again for the first time since those few precious moments right after he was born. So, on day 5, Justin held his son for the first time. 

I cried as tears of happiness glistened on my cheeks, and felt a feeling that can only be experienced - words will never come close to fully describing the emotion experienced in that moment. 

He was beautiful. 

He was perfect.

He was loved more than he'll ever be able to imagine. 

Our strong boy has come a long way so far.  He has been poked and prodded, had a lot of blood drawn, and been through multiple procedures, but with the grace of our Heavenly Father, his healing is going smoothly and we couldn't be happier. 

And today, on day 9, they let us take him home! He's ours - without the wires, without the loud beeps from the monitors, without us having to say good bye. 

We are so happy. But some how happy doesn't seem to fully describe our emotions. 

Elam Isaiah Tyson

Welcome to the world, little Elam Isaiah Tyson!

Born at 5:49 PM on June 20, 2013, weighing 7 lbs 7.6 oz and measuring 18 1/2 inches long, we are so blessed to call you our son.

Blue Nail Polish

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

Ephesians 3:20

Y'all!

Look at all these blue fingernails! 

I'm not sure it is possible for you to completely understand how much of an impact you guys are having on the life of our little family. To be able to see your love for us and for our little guy - who we have yet to meet, is truly unbelievable!

Pictures have cotinuously been sent to me over the past two days. Some from family, some from friends, and others from people we don't even know!

To say I was not expecting this, is an understatement! 

From Iowa to South Carolina, including many states in between, we have seen an outpouring of love from people who stand in the gap for us when we are feeling low. 

You are warriors. 

You are encouragers.

You are blessings. 

And we are so thankful - for every one of you! 

Yesterday we went to New Orleans for our 38 week check up. The doctor determined that my body was not quite ready to schedule an induction for next week, so we have pushed it back to my original due date, July 1. (Of course, with the unpredictable nature of babies, that date is still rather tenative.)

We are so ready to meet our little guy, that we can hardly stand it. We are ready to share with the world the blessing we have already recieved.

38 Weeks. {Little Brother}

This could possibly be the last week of this pregnancy.

In the beginning, we were told we would deliver via c-section between 36 and 37 weeks, so getting this far is a huge accomplishment in our books. With much prayer, we found a team of doctors who valued research and our opinions and insisted we keep this wonderfully unique little boy on the inside as long as possible.

But the end draws near.

A 39 week induction date has been discussed ever since we switched to Oshcner, mainly for surgical planning purposes.

So, the time is really coming!

And by golly, it's pretty nerve racking!

I believe in the power prayer. For that reason, I have been trying to think of a way for me to be constantly reminded to pray over the course of this next week, instead of clinging to the multitude of worries and fears that are sure to arise. .

And so I have decided to paint my fingernails light blue.

I find color on my nails to look rather awkward. My fingers are short (and stubby with this pregnancy) and any color in between my poorly- shaped cuticles just accentuates that dreadful little fact. So, to me, this isn't just a fashion thing, this is a get-over-yourself-and-pray thing.  This week, as I look down at my fingertips, whether it be to swipe my credit card or type another blog post, my hope is that I will be reminded ever so subtly that my God hears my prayers. He knows my heart, and He longs for me just to ask.

Now, I ask you to pray, too. You don't have to paint your nails. (Please, dad, DON'T paint your nails!) But I do ask that you keep us in the forefront of your prayers. Maybe when you see a blue stroller, or pass by the baby section in Wal-Mart (or if you're lucky enough to shop at a Target more frequently), take a short second to just lift us up in a thoughtful prayer.

This part of our journey is about to come to an end, but a whole new adventure waits just around the corner.